you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I won the penis lottery.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
