that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
