I am spending my child support on dildos
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
