Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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