so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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