There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
