Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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