hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
