I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
