You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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