I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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