What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
