So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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