I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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