Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
