well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
