porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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