if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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