i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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