My sheets look like a crime scene.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
