your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
