I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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