i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
