i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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