Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
