so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
