If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
