there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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