have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize