he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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