All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
