At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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