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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
