...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
