would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
