Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
