Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
