OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
our cab driver is having phone sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
