I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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