can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
