I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize