The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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