If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
