Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize