Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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