...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
