Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
