I want to stick my p in your. b.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Girls should come with a carfax report
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
