Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
