the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
