i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This is the prime rib incident all over again
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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