You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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