Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
