I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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