Having a random hookup so left but love u
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
