You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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