Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
