You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Still dying that you shit outside
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
