Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
