do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
