im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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