his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
