I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Welp...herpes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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