hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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