But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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