actually, I'm a sock model
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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