You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
