Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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