If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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