escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
