shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
pray to the hookup gods
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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